


All Too Well

by teriyaki_babe



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, I just wanna hug Mello okay, M/M, Sad, Self-Indulgent, Songfic, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teriyaki_babe/pseuds/teriyaki_babe
Summary: I didn’t mean to fall in love with Mello. Who would? He was a loud, brash, arrogant hothead with a penchant for blowing shit up. I didn’t walk into love with him, I didn’t realize what was going on until my feelings hit like a tsunami and I was drowning.----Mello angsty songfic with vague references to my Death Note OC. Not beta-read and basically written in an hour, you have been warned. The song is All Too Well by Taylor Swift.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Original Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 2





	All Too Well

**Author's Note:**

> Totally not beta-read, but I've been itching to post anything related to my Death Note OC since the one-shot came out. More vague plot about the OC at the end.

_ 'Cause there we are again when I loved you so _

_ Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known _

_ It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well _

Falling in love was always a funny thing. You couldn’t predict it. Some loves were easy. My first boyfriend in high school- he was cool, funny and caring. He was good and everything I could’ve wanted. Of course, shit is always too good to last. Sometimes, on cold rainy nights, I wonder what he’s doing. If his glasses are fogged up. If he’s studying.  _ I wonder if he misses me. If he’s trying to find me. _

I didn’t mean to fall in love with Mello. Who would? He was a loud, brash, arrogant hothead with a penchant for blowing shit up. I didn’t walk into love with him, I didn’t realize what was going on until my feelings hit like a tsunami and I was drowning.

The first time I looked at him without wanting to punch him in the face was during a gunfight. When he found me, he had the brilliant idea of joining up with a gang. On the surface level, it was a sane argument. Here we were, two kids with no country to back us up and no money to catch a killer. He was an  _ excellent  _ shot and I was a master tactician. I still am. So, I donned red lipstick and a ‘fuck me’ pout and whispered clever words into his ear. The assholes we worked with always liked the ideas better if he was the one who said them. 

There was a spatter of blood on his face. I had already taken a shot to the arm and was down my good aiming hand. Mello backed me up in a corner and guarded me. I could still shoot with my left arm, sure, but all I could provide was distraction cover fire.

The sunlight streamed in from the holes in the wall behind us. His rosary glinted in the setting sun and even though he was slaughtering our enemies, I couldn’t help but think he was angelic.

* * *

_ You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me _

The air was stagnant. After the blast, everything went silent. I couldn’t even hear the crackling fire near us.  _ Fucking fuck-  _ I specifically told him to draw the grenade as a last resort scare tactic, not to actually pull the pin! 

Mello was still shielding me from the blast. His body slumped over mine, limp and unresponsive. “No, no, fuck, you don’t get to do this shit on me!” I shouted but couldn’t even hear my own voice. I pushed him off me gently and set him on the ground. “Fucking hell Mello, this isn’t cool!” 

I felt for a pulse. Still beating.  _ Thank god. _ His trembling hand raised and cradled my cheek. The ringing in my ears stilled just enough to hear him whisper,

“-How the hell are you still so beautiful?” His eyes closed and he slumped, passed out. Oh fuck no, I could still walk and I was going to be damned if I didn’t get him out of there. I grabbed him and heaved the man over my shoulder in Firemans’ carry. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. I flipped around as fast as I could and saw him standing there in his riot gear.  _ Soichiro Yagami.  _ Fucking fuck that was a really bad thing. His son- he thought I had hightailed it after L’s death and wouldn’t dare show my face for fear of my own life. Almost as if he saw the panic in my eyes as I reached for something,  _ something  _ to stop him, he lifted one ashy finger to his lips. Secret’s safe with me.

* * *

_ 'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night _

_ We're dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light _

_ Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah _

It took a week for Mello to wake up fully. The entire left side of his body was fried to a crisp and I was fucking surprised I kept him alive. I never left his side. He tossed in his sleep, dreaming a restless dream. I held his good side down, begging him not to hurt himself further. My own health had been neglected in favor of keeping him alive. 

“What the hell happened?” I stirred from the short rest to the sound of his voice. I was curled up by his cot, trying to catch 20 minutes of sleep before I had to change his bandages. I rolled my neck as I tried to process what was going on and looked up. 

“No no don’t sit up, you’re really hurt-” He shrugged off my arm trying to keep him down and hissed as he sat up all the way. 

“How the hell am I alive?” He asked, looking straight at me.

“Because I couldn’t let you die.” 

“Why? That was the deal when we teamed up, that you would run for the hills if something happened.”

“That was then. This is now.”

He furrowed his eyebrow at me. “Ace, what does that mean? You’re more important to this than I am-”

I groaned and grabbed his face gently. “Because I can’t do this without you. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

He subconsciously leaned into my touch. “Fucking hell, Ace. You’re stupider than I thought you were.”

“Why do you call me Ace?” 

He laughed slightly, not moving his injured face too much. “Because you’re my ace. I couldn’t win without you You’re the lynchpin for this entire enterprise.”

I rolled my eyes. “Then why do you think I could win without you either?”

He stopped talking for a moment. Mello looked me right in the eyes as if he was staring into my soul. Finally, he rested his forehead against my own. “If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

I didn’t respond with words. I kissed him.  _ And he kissed me back.  _ I had been waiting for a month to find the right time, to find a spare moment when our lives weren’t in danger. I wasn’t sure if this is what L intended when he sent Mello to find me, but fucking hell I had never been more grateful for that asshole. 

I pulled away first, whispering, “I love you."

* * *

_ You told me ‘bout your past, thinking your future was me _

“Do you ever wonder if we’re doing the right thing here?” I asked once, in the dead of night.

“What do you mean?” He reached out to pull me closer, to further entangle his legs with mine until I didn’t know where I ended and he began.

“I don’t know. I just get the feeling something is going to go terribly wrong.”

He threaded his good fingers through my hair. “Ace, everything always goes wrong. I’d say look at me, but it’s dark. What matters is how we get back up afterward. I know that whatever happens, you’re going to be amazing.”

* * *

_ Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it _

_ I'd like to be my old self again _

_ But I'm still trying to find it _

Mello gave me his rosary before he left. He told me good luck, told me that I needed God’s blessing more than him that night. I should’ve gone in his stead. I should’ve taken her, I had a gut feeling that Light knew his name. 

“I’ve really got to hand it to you Ace, I really fucked up this time.,” His shaking voice came through the commlink, “I really, really fucked it up.”

My breath caught in my throat. “No- Mello.”

“Mihael. My name’s Mihael Keehl. Thought you should know that before, well,” He cut off, coughing as the sensors he had on his body lit up my displays like a Christmas tree. After a moment, he was able to speak again. “I was scared of saying I love you. I didn’t want to die before you and fuck up any chance you had at being normal. But Ace, you’re not normal. You never have been. You never will be.”

“Mihael please save your energy-”

“Ace, it’s the end of the line for me.”

A sob welled up in my throat, “No, you can’t leave me, not like this-”

“I love you.” He spoke softly. “Kill that sick son of a bitch for me, will ya?”

_ Silence.  _

_ Silence. _

I screamed. I screamed loud and long until my throat hurt so much I couldn’t make a sound anymore. Then the tears started. I was crying those ugly tears that turned to blood after a while.  _ He didn’t know about Matt.  _ I didn’t tell him that Matt’s link had cut- that I had seen the footage. I didn’t want to distract him as he was delivering Takada. 

I fucked up.

You know that feeling when you fuck up the one good thing that ever happened to you? When you broke your favorite childhood toy or made your mother cry? When everything is crumbling down around you and you are helpless to stop it?

I don’t know how long I was curled up there. I don’t know how long it took to cry myself dry, to let the hiccups and shakes work their way through my body. I sat up slowly and made one call.

“Near?”

* * *

_ Maybe we got lost in translation _

_ Maybe I asked for too much _

_ But maybe this thing was a masterpiece _

_ 'Til you tore it all up _

“-This is all thanks to Mello.”

I stepped through the back, letting my boots make a distinct sound as I stepped up to Near’s side and lowered my hood. “Hello, boys. Long time no see.”

Matsuda’s eyes buggered out of their sockets. “Ha-”  
“ _Ace._ Nice to see you all again. Near’s right.” I grabbed a cigarette out of my pocket and lit it. “You’re going to fail due to him.”

“And why’s that?” Light shrieked, becoming more undone by the moment. 

I took a drag. “Because you killed the only man I ever loved. That makes you my target, Light Yagami. Do you really think you’re the only side who’s ever wielded a Death Note? That you’re the only person willing to kill to get what you want?”

“You- you-”

“Don’t get me mistaken, Kira. I’m not going to kill you. I’m not going to stoop to your level. I’m going to watch you suffer for the rest of your life, just like I have.”

Fucking Shinigami. Always fucking up my plans.

* * *

_ It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well _

Falling in love is a stupid thing. You can’t predict it. I didn’t want to fall in love with Mihael Keehl. I didn’t want to have my childhood fucked over. I didn’t want to be here. 

“Happy anniversary, love. How’s everything going?”

Two years later, I was still here. He and Matt got graves here so I could visit them regularly. Of course, it was raining today. I held up my red and white striped umbrella over my head as I set down a pack of cigarettes and a chocolate bar on their headstones. A face mask and sunglasses obscured my face.

“I love you. I miss you. I want you home.”

Of course, love fucks you over. Every time.

**Author's Note:**

> OC's name is not actually Ace in case that wasn't super clear. In my universe they got picked up by L under suspicion as being Kira when they were ~15. He realized that they weren't Kira but didn't let them go. When L died, they skipped town and planned on laying low until they died because they fucking knew Light was Kira. When Mello and Near were informed that L died, Mello was given a letter instructing him to find Ace and that they were the actual successor to L. Cue angst here.


End file.
